I met the friendliest cop last night
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize