5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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