How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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