Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
