Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
