playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
