I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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