well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
