So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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