What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
