I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you didnt know i had herpes?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
