I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
