sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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