Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
