M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
