If i come over, it means nothing
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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