new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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