I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
