i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
