I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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