I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
