We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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