Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
high people should be assigned attendants
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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