***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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