i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
