Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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