I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
