On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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