Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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