my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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