She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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