This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Is that strawberry winking at me??
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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