He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
