Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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