when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
