spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just gargled with NyQuil
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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