..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I would fuck him just for his dog
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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