STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
