I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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