it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize