oh fat girl friday strikes again...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
