You're my little dorito
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
