my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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