I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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