You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
