This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize