The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
