If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
