you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
