The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I want her autograph on my taint
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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