if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
