my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
