I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
