If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
ok first of all what the fuck
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
