dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
