Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
