It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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