At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
There's always time for handjobs
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize