why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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