Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
