What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
