You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
