i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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